What I Allow to Hold Me Back

what is holding me back

So often there comes a time in life where time must just stop;   where the things that have moved forward and consistently for so long and with great ease, must rest.  Where time gets to have a respite and where the Spirit within adjusts Itself for the New.


Each and every time when things flow too smoothly and our path seems sure, the period of respite must come about.  We must call it forward and then sit with it long enough to let that which is embryonic within birth itself.


Ideas move through us like our blood, and unless we have a clear flow, the coagulation of these ideas cause an inflammation in our psyche, and we feel overwhelmed, under-satisfied, restless, frustrated and even angry.  All this lends itself to the feeling of not being enough, and when this mental attitude sets in, our lives collapse.


How many of us have had great dreams, and have set goals for ourselves, only to discover that our get-up-and-go got up and went?  We allow the mundane tasks of achievement to override our dreams and our enthusiasm rapidly diminishes.  All of our dreams vanish in a flash.  And what I have become acutely aware of is there lay within me this urge, this zealous desire to fight back!


Someone I know very well says, “We give up most for what we want in the moment,” and I believe this is systemic in the minds of the general populous, and unless each of us force ourselves to move past this, our society and the achievements that have sustained our well-being, deteriorates and with it, our livelihood.


When this thing that I allow to hold me back comes into focus, just the awareness puts me back in the driver’s seat of life.  “Awareness is curative.”  Until I recognize the need and the value I place on that need to fail (though at the time it’s just another poor decision!), what I allow to hold me back continues to put a monkey-wrench into all those things that I desire to experience.


Even though some elements of what I desire demonstrate, the fullness that I originally saw for myself, rarely materializes.  But having an awareness of what I allow to hold me back gives me the purview to take the necessary steps toward relinquishing the mental attitudes and the “go-to” behaviors that typify my poor decision making actions.


Twelve step programs speak of this as a “character defect,” and metaphysics looks upon this as our “shadow side” and Western World thinkers call this the very activity that takes us down the road of our “dark night of the soul.”  Just knowing that there is something that isn’t operating at its fullest capacity within us sends us into deep depression.  It’s that simple!


What I allow to hold me back is nothing more than “nothing appearing as something.”  And I allow that false sense of something to drive the very energy that easily could manifest my dreams.  It’s all a simple and yet not easy “self” to retrain.  Ernest Holmes says that “trained thought is more powerful than untrained thought,” but if we don’t realize that it is our thinking that is making all the decisions in our lives, then what I allow to hold me back appears to be originating from something outside of me—and this amplifies the problem!


Anytime that life isn’t moving in the direction of what you choose, ask yourself:  “What am I allowing to hold me back?”  Fold that consciousness back in upon itself; there is an Inner Knower that will and does reveal the very hindrance we are entertaining within our minds.  Let go of the idea that there is something outside of you that has control over your life!  Let go of any notion that anyone else can make any decision for you.  Trust yourself!  That which is within you is greater than that which is in the world!


The greatest thinkers all have revealed the same Truth:  “Know thyself.”



  1. Sam Crutcher says:

    I came (clicked), I read and I concurred! Now on to the day ahead, unleashed and available for all that will be a happy, contented and productive day!

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